March 2010

Movie Theater Candy: Dots

Dots belon

g to that very small sub-category of candies which taste better if they are somewhat (or overtly) stale.  This never used to be a problem, because back in the day, Dots were just packaged in a waxed cardboard box.  They came pre-staled, if you will.  

I remember when I was a kid, a movie theater was the only place you could find Dots.  I wonder now if that's because they realized that their candies didn't ship or store well, in their completely air permeable package.  Or maybe it was only movie theaters which were clamoring for candies which could be eaten quietly, and which didn't rattle loudly if they were dropped on the concrete floor.

More Diet Candy: 3 Musketeers

I had to laugh when I saw this candy bar at the store.  On each of the four sides of the packaging, it declares its diet nature.  "45% less fat than average of the leading chocolate brands!"  "Big On Chocolate, Not On Fat!"  And my favorite, "A Lighter Way To Enjoy Chocolate."

And yet, this was the "2 To Go" package, which is actually two full size 3 Musketeers bars wrapped up together.  I love how they make this sound like it suits my active lifestyle!  Like, "Hey Fatty McFatty, I know you want two candy bars instead of just one measly bar, so here they are all convenient, and hey!  45% less fat!"

Reese's Whipps, The Diet Candy

As various fad diets sweep our nation, the candy manufacturers are ready to pounce, declaring their candy to be dietarily thrifty in some way.  One which recently caught my eye is the new Reese's Whipps bar.

Reese's Whipps (that's its name, even though I only ate one - the plurality of the name makes grammar a chore) is, let me just say this up front, ridiculously sweet.  Tooth-achingly sweet.  As sweet as a Cadbury Crème Egg, but not as gooey inside.  So sweet that it will make you desperately thirsty.

French Burnt Peanuts and Boston Baked Beans

Here are some of the questions I have been unable to find answers to:

  • Why "French"?
  • Why "Burnt"?
  • What are the nodules/poky bits in the coating on French burnt peanuts?
  • Why are French burnt peanuts bumpy in the first place?
  • Are these supposed to be skin-on or skin-off peanuts?  Because my investigations have shown a 50/50 ratio there.
  • What is that funny bitter taste?
  • Who invented French burnt peanuts, and why do they continue to exist?

Easter Jellybean Round-Up

Ever since the departure of the late lamented Smuckers jelly bean, a lot of other branded jelly beans have struggled to take its place.  With varying degrees of success.

First of all I think we need to establish that regular old jelly beans do need a replacement.  When I say "regular old jelly beans" I mean those big honkin' things the size of your thumb, with only the vaguest of flavors.  Licorice jelly beans are always present, which is the scourge of many.  I like the licorice ones, but I always pick them out and eat them separately.  The flavor goes so very poorly with all the others.

Speaking of traditional jelly bean flavors, just what flavor is the white one supposed to be?  I kind of like it, and kind of find it revoltingly sweet-flavored.  Like the icing of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, which as far as I can tell is "icing flavor."