Oreos vs. worldly problems

Oreos vs. worldly problems

That’s how the cookie crumbles, I guess.

People get outraged over the dumbest crap. I used to have a bumper sticker that read, “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention!” I really meant that, too, but I meant it about violence against women, about how anyone other than a straight, white man is treated in this country; about human trafficking, our environmental destruction, and so many other issues that plague us every day.

I did not mean it about Oreo cookies.

But apparently, that is what the everyday person gets angry about. The other day, I saw an old woman ask for Halloween themed Oreos at the store, and when she was told they were out, she threw her package of lunch meat at the store employee. I am serious—she totally threw it at him! Then she spat, “You’re always out of everything!”

Well, sorry, ma’am. I know how freaking important cookies are. They are totally worth flipping out over. All of that chocolate and inner gooey goodness; how could you not flip out?

I don’t mean to judge her, but really—throwing meat at someone? Old age doesn’t earn you the right to hurl pig flesh at store clerks. It really doesn’t.

Why can’t people get riled up about something important and storm the government with demands like other countries? Had we done that like Iceland had done, we would see bankers behind bars and people getting bailouts instead! That’s what they did when their subjects—oops, I mean citizens—spoke out. Nope, peasants—again, citizens!—here get mad about cookies, but not about anything of importance.

Seriously, Oreo is more concerned about social issues than the average human seems to be—they even made rainbow cookies to prove it! Why can’t the average person give a damn like that? I don’t mean to make rainbow cookies, of course, but to get angry enough to throw meat—without actually throwing it, mind you—about what’s happening to our world, to our kids and our food and our brothers and sisters and selves, instead.

Some of them have proved that they are racist enough to care about some things, which isn’t the kind of care I mean, either. We need to care out of actual compassion, not deep-seated prejudices from our great-grandparents—and until we do that, I think we’re going to keep having problems bad enough to lose sleep over.

Of course, we’ll lose sleep about cookies instead.