Well I couldn't resist buying a box. Who could?
It turned out that these things were actually pretty good. I never would have expected that! I was hoping to have some funny stuff to talk about. You know, like how I chipped a tooth and had to make an emergency trip to the dentist. That kind of thing.
Isn't it funny how the older you get, the more the threat of dental work hangs over your head as a valid concern?
One thing which attracted me to these Jordan almonds was their bright colors. Instead of the usual washed-out pastels, these came in bright sherbet-y colors. (And a pink which was kind of more like puce, and wholly unappetizing, but we shall overlook that fault.)
The package specifies that these are "thin shell" Jordan almonds, so maybe that is what makes the difference from an edibility perspective. They certainly were edible. One of my tests for a candy is how fast I have to snap pictures before I eat them all. These didn't quite fail that test (a failure is a candy I eat before I can write a review). But they came close.
Made by the Kings Candy Company of New Jersey, these Jordan almonds had a wonderful marzipan flavor. Are the almonds themselves somehow sweetened before being covered with a candy shell? That would be my guess, since almonds have such a mild flavor. I somehow doubt that they managed to seep their almond flavor into the candy coating.
Regardless, marzipan is one of my favorite things IN THE WORLD. You do not want to get between me and marzipan. I had never made the connection between Jordan almonds and marzipan, although it's pretty obvious. I will be seeking out Jordan almonds in the future, to see if they taste as marzipan-y. I will also be stopping in at more Rite Aid stores, because I definitely need more of these in my life.
If I had to speculate, I would say that 84% of the country's Jordan almond supply is sold to prospective brides. I once ate a 30 year-old Jordan almond on a dare, I kid you not. It had been enshrined inside a little plastic heart-shaped cage as a wedding party favor for 30 years before someone encountered it in a box of relics in my aunt and uncle's basement.
I can report that a 30 year-old wedding almond is every bit as edible as most fresh ones. The taste was a little bland, but who's counting.
If I have anything to complain about regarding these Jordan almonds, it's that the almond skin tends to linger in the mouth. Several minutes after eating a handful I found myself still running my tongue around my teeth, picking out the little flakes of almond skin. That's a little annoying. (But not annoying enough to stop eating them, obviously.)