| Dessert Report

Archer Farms Tiramisu

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Not worth the $6

I had high hopes for my last visit to Target. They have that whole "store in a store" deal going, and one of their featured boutiques is a candy store. Well, too bad for me, because the offerings were A) pretty typical stuff (like Jawbreakers) and B) super expensive due to fancy packaging. I don't need a tiny glass apothecary jar for my candy, especially not if it brings the price up to $6 for a small handful of Jawbreakers.

Dejected, I cruised down to the frozen food section. The last time I went to Target I bought an Archer Farms cheesecake, and I was shocked at how good it was. This time my hand hovered over the cheesecake, then - despite my better judgment - reached for the Archer Farms tiramisu instead.

It's so easy for tiramisu to go wrong. And Archer Farms managed to hit pretty much every low point.

Time for some berry delicious treats

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Summer is finally here, so it's time to start making some sweet treats just for the season. What sort of desserts come to mind when you think about summer? For me, it's all about using seasonal berries in my baking. It's the only time of year when you can find these berries fresh and ripe at the local grocery store. Stock up and get ready for some tart and tangy desserts.

Crows Candy: Probably Not Racist?

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(Not anymore, anyway.)

I think for a lot of people beyond a certain age, the vision of a cartoon crow with a top hat and cane is inextricably going to be tied to the thought of those cartoon crows in Disney's classic movie "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Those racist, racist crows.

The idea of a racist depiction of a crow is tied up in the concept of "Jim Crow." The Jim Crow laws enacted racial segregation in the United States from 1876 to 1964. Jim Crow laws were responsible for "whites only" water fountains, black people not being allowed to eat at the Woolworth's counter, black people having to sit at the back of the bus… all of that horribleness falls under the name Jim Crow.

Hostess Zingers

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If you have ever eaten a Twinkie and thought "I wish these were more sweet" then the Zinger is for you.

With the much declared death of Hostess, the implication is that you should stock up on Hostess goods and get them while you can. Personally, I'm skeptical - the Hostess brand name has far too much value, I think, to just lapse quietly into history. Someone will buy it and keep cranking out Twinkies, I'm certain of it.

But nevertheless, I thought it might be a good idea to try a Zinger, just in case.

I'm not a fan of artificial fruit stuff in general, which is why I have always avoided Zingers in the past. Why buy a Zinger, I always thought, when you can get a perfectly good Ho Ho or Ding Dong or - if you're really lucky - Chocodile? Even a regular Twinkie is, to my mind, somewhat preferable to a Zinger.

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Chuckles Candies

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Difficult to find, but worth the hunt!

Chuckles are one of those old-timey candies that you can still find, although you have to go hunting for them. I buy mine at the hardware store in the next town over, where they stock them up by the register. I also sometimes find them at Walmart, sold in a big plastic tub. (Has anyone ever complained of having too many Chuckles?)

If memory serves, way back in the dawn of time, Roger Ebert claimed that he was able to discern the flavor of each Chuckle in the dark. Gene Siskel (that's how long ago this was) scoffed at Ebert's claim. One day Ebert was put to the test blindfolded, and passed with flying colors. That's my recollection, in any case - I can't find any info about it online.

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Make The Best Lemon Bars

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Slate has a recipe just like my grandmother's!

I recently made lemon bars from scratch for the first time in my life. I was spurred to give it a try by this Slate article, which starts from the point of view that "you're doing it wrong." And given the sad state of public lemon bars, I would have to agree.

When I think of lemon bars, I think of the treats my grandmother made at Christmas time. Every year, a week or two before Thanksgiving, her kitchen became the hub of a day-long baking mania. This was a family tradition, usually just me and my grandmother and my two aunts. Occasionally my cousin, when he was available. (He's in his early 20s now, and a whiz in the kitchen!)

It's Splitsville for Mike and Ike

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It's Facebook official: longtime candy couple Mike and Ike have announced that they are indeed splitting up. How can this be? Mike and Ike have been a staple movie theater candy duo ever since they first hit the shelves in 1940. They have been an item for over 70 years, so what's bringing their relationship to an end?

Haribo Gold Bears

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Delicious, although not so great for your breath

Haribo has a new ad campaign in which little kids seem to be running the company. That's not nearly as odd as the fact that it is only one of several commercials for various other companies in which this is true. I guess that's a thing now. You can see the line of reasoning: why not?

I was a little confused at first, because I thought that "Gold Bears" were like a premium version of their regular gummy bears. But this is not the case: it is Haribo's only gummy bear. My assumption is that they chose to call their candy "Gold Bears" because that is a name which can be trademarked. And it's similar enough to "Gummi Bears" to ring that bell in the consumer's mind.

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Candyman: The David Klein Story

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The surprisingly engrossing and cut-throat story behind Jelly Bellys

If you have ever wanted a peek behind the curtain into the nitty gritty of the candy business, "Candyman: The David Klein Story" is a great place to start. This independent documentary has it all: drama, fame, fortune, catastrophe, pluckiness, bad guys, and of course, candy!

I never realized how little I knew about Jelly Bellys until I watched this documentary. The flavorful little jelly beans were invented in the mid 1970s by a man named David Klein. And then, after Jelly Bellys became a national success, he was fed to the business sharks who pressured him into signing it all away.

Weird, old-timey candy: Horehound and Sassafras

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The taste of horehound candy is… odd. "Medicinal" is probably a good word.

Last week I had to stop in at the feed store to buy some ground oyster shell for my chickens. Doesn't that just sound fabulously rural? The truth is that, although I live in a rural area, these are strictly pet chickens. The last time one died, I took its body to the vet's office to be cremated, that's how upset I was.

The feed store had just put in a big intriguing display of old-timey candy. The display was meant to look like a frontier store's penny candy barrels, and the packages are printed with an austere black-on-white color scheme. I picked the two oddest candies of the lot, and made my escape.

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