More Diet Candy: 3 Musketeers

I had to laugh when I saw this candy bar at the store.  On each of the four sides of the packaging, it declares its diet nature.  "45% less fat than average of the leading chocolate brands!"  "Big On Chocolate, Not On Fat!"  And my favorite, "A Lighter Way To Enjoy Chocolate."

And yet, this was the "2 To Go" package, which is actually two full size 3 Musketeers bars wrapped up together.  I love how they make this sound like it suits my active lifestyle!  Like, "Hey Fatty McFatty, I know you want two candy bars instead of just one measly bar, so here they are all convenient, and hey!  45% less fat!"

3 Musketeers is practically positioning itself as the alcohol-free beer of candy bars.  It has even launched an ad campaign touting the lightness of its candy.  (To women, of course, because the womens go crazy over chocolate, amirite?  Second only to yogurt!)

I perused the Nutritional Information panel (which is ridiculously hard to read, being blue print on silver foil) and found that each 3 Musketeers bar has only 6 grams of fat, which is really pretty good.  However, it has 200 calories, and 36 grams of carbs.  For comparison, a Snickers bar has 266 calories and 37 grams of carbs (and 11 grams of fat).  A Milky Way has 228 calories and 39 grams of carbs (and 9 grams of fat).

Just to boil it down for you: all candy bars are pretty much the same.  Don't kid yourself.  In fact, maybe if we stopped seeing one candy bar as a more dietarily virtuous choice over another, it would help dig us out of this national obesity hole we've dug ourselves into.  

See what you made me do, 3 Musketeers?  By framing the conversation on dietary purity and how many grams of fat you have versus other bars, all you have done is made me angry.  The sooner we stop pretending that a candy bar can help us lose weight, the better.

Now then!  Where was I?  Oh yes, I was trying to enjoy a delicious candy bar.  As you probably know, 3 Musketeers used to be composed of three smaller bars: one with a chocolate center, one vanilla, and one strawberry.  During WWII because of rationing (this may be apocryphal) they reduced it down to the most popular flavor, and it has been just chocolate ever since.

3 Musketeers has perfected the texture that the Reese's Whipps is striving for.  It is delicate without being sticky, airy without being cloying, and sweet without being painful.  The fluffy filling melts nicely, along with the robust chocolate coating which manages to taste and feel like chocolate of far higher quality than what you'd expect to find in the mass market grocery check-out candy boxes.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that 3 Musketeers is one of the least popular "big name" candy bars.  I once worked in an office which received regular deliveries of mixed boxes of candy bars.  Inevitably by the end of the week, only the 3 Musketeers bars would be left.  Oh well - more for me!