July 2010

As much as I disliked the old governmentally prescribed food pyramid, at least it made a kind of sense.  The new food pyramid (I'm inclined to put it in "scare quotes" and call it a "pyramid," but I shall refrain) is so clearly the work of a bureaucrat, it makes me want to bury my head in my hands.  It's so bad, it should come with its own Powerpoint presentation.

For one thing, the original food pyramid WAS a pyramid.  You had different sizes of blocks which stacked on top of each other.  To make a pyramid.  It made logical sense, and visual sense as well.  

Okay, so the base of the pyramid was this gigantic slab of grains.  Which was sacrilege to the carb-haters.   But what would you expect from the United States Department of AGRICULTURE?  That's what they're for - to get you to eat plants.


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My first, last, and everything in-between impression of these is that they are SO PRETTY.  I mean, look at them!  The Berry Blast spectrum is like the color scheme for a stained glass window in a public aquarium somewhere tropical.  Florida.  A public aquarium in Florida.

I spent a lot of time just gazing upon them, and occasionally rearranging the colors.  Putting pink beside orange, for example, or moving that ice blue in between a purple and a dark blue.  Gorgeous!

The flavors themselves are mostly alright, although I have some real problems with "Peach Berry."  I mean for one thing, there is no such thing as a "Peach Berry."  Why would you take an assortment of berry flavors and think, "Hmm, you know what this needs?   Peach.  But since it's a berry assortment, we'll have to give it a vaguely berry flavor and then call it Peach Berry."


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If you, like me, own your own chickens, then you are already sitting up a little bit straighter in your chair to learn that there is an "all eggs, all the time" cookbook.  Recipes just about eggs!  Seriously, I am only one person, and I'm getting four eggs a day this time of year.  And some morning the thought of Yet Another Homemade Egg McMuffin turns my stomach.

This is part of a series which also includes Chocolate and Tomato.  I am mildly intrigued by the thought of single-ingredient cookbooks.  As someone who is definitely not super-accomplished in the kitchen, I like the idea of walking through an exploration of all the different things you can do with a singe ingredient.


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Personal Lubricants Can HelpI was charmed by the film “Superbad” starring Jonah Hill and Michael Cera. Seriously, who doesn’t love movies about young virgins trying to get laid?  

At one point in “Superbad”, the characters of Seth and Evan are in the parking lot at the liquor store waiting for the much-loved McLovin’ to buy booze with his questionable fake id. As the two are talking, one busts out a bottle of lube and the other chucks it across the parking lot. His reasoning? Lube is only necessary for old ladies- not hot high school girls.

I beg to differ.


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Oh what devious minds have been at work in the Keebler cookie factory?  Who was it who first proposed "Hey, let's make a cookie out of cheesecake"?  I really hope that person's genius was recognized.  I hope they at least got a nice bonus that following December.  

How is it that I have lived my entire life without cheesecake cookies?  This must be how people felt when air travel was invented.  Every once in a while something so revolutionary comes along that you can't help but wonder how you ever got along without it.  Cheesecake Middles cookies are such an item.

The basics: a dollop of cheesecake inside a graham cracker cookie, with fudge stripes and a fudgy bottom.  The overall visual effect is like that of a thumbprint cookie, but with white creamy cheesecake instead of sticky red jam.  


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I was so excited to find these!  One of the last candies I remember from when I was a kid.  The mid to late 1980s, junior high to high school, and Giant Chewy SweeTarts from the Kwik-Stop up the street.  These things all jumble together in my memory in a haze of sugary goodness.

I'm actually sad that I found these again.  Having revisited some of the candies from my youth, I probably should have known the score.  And it's true, having re-tried a Giant Chewy SweeTart , I'm not really head over heels for them the way I used to be.  

Each Giant Chewy SweeTart is about the size of a silver dollar, and according to my measurements almost half an inch thick.  This is, as befitting the name, a giant piece of candy.  Eating it presents certain challenges which made me think, "Oh yeah, I remember that…"


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HI I LIKE THIS CHOCOLATE IT HAS GROUND UP ESPRESSO BEANS IN IT, IT IS REALLY GOOD, REALLY REALLY.  

*cough*

Sorry, it's just that every time I eat one of the little squares of chocolate, I get KIND OF excited.  Is it the caffeine?  I'm not sure how much caffeine is in it.  Some, surely, since it contains (as mentioned) ground espresso beans.

This bar, "the tiger bar," is my favorite Endangered Species Chocolate so far.  And not just because tigers are kewl.  (The tiger facts inside the wrapper mention that the markings on a tiger's face are unique, like human fingerprints.  Which I already knew, because I have seen every nature documentary ever made.)  Each pillow-shaped square has a semi-matte finish, and is stamped with the Endangered Species Chocolate symbol of a leafy branch.


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It’s not as if we actually need an excuse to eat ice cream, is it? I think it’s safe to say that most people enjoy the cold, creamy treat and wouldn’t mind it if every month—perhaps even every day—were dedicated to the dessert. Whether you could eat a whole pint, or you’re like me and a small scoop will satisfy you for a week, be sure to enjoy your favorite flavors this month. Here are a few ways to celebrate National Ice Cream Month.

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Endangered Species Chocolate is another one of the very small handful of Fair Trade chocolate companies here in America.  They have a pretty extensive line of chocolates, and I have resolved to work my way through their product line.  It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it!  Think of the children!  Etc.

This one has a rhinoceros on the label.  I have learned that the label doesn't mean that your purchase specifically supports that species. 

Which honestly was a relief, because at one point ages ago I remember standing in the aisle trying to decide which I liked better: otters or manatees?  It was too difficult a choice, flavor or species.  I'm glad to learn that it's just the packaging!


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Recently, a friend off-handedly mentioned that "everyone's out of pumpkin, you know.  There's a national shortage."  I didn't know, actually!  

As a big fan of pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, and pumpkin muffins, you would think I would have noticed. In fact, I hardly believed her, and had to look it up myself.  But it's true: America is experiencing an unprecedented shortage of pumpkin.

At grocery stores nationwide, the pumpkin puree spot on the shelves lies empty.  Most of us probably won't notice until fall (when the market for pumpkin-based foods starts cranking up for the season).  Those who need pumpkin immediately are having to turn to alternatives, or simply do without.

This recent article from the Washington Post explains the situation.   Libby's, the nation's primary producer of canned pumpkin puree, has an inventory that totals precisely: six cans.  

The problem is weather.  Three years of bad weather has pushed the commercial pumpkin crop to its breaking point.  The record rainfall and flooding in the Midwest has caused pumpkin fields to become all but impossible to plant and harvest.  

And to compound the problem, pumpkins are a crop that do not like to get overly wet.  In fact, here in the Pacific Northwest it's taken as a given that pumpkin plants will fall prey to powdery mildew and other "too wet" diseases.  The question is whether it will happen before or after you get your pumpkins harvested.

So what's a pumpkin-hungry public to do?


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I have a difficult time saying whether or not these are "good" because that's such a subjective term.  And because they completely squicked me out.  

GummiBursts are the latest blow struck in the experimental candy wars.  The package proclaims them to be "liquid filled gummies," and so they are.  What it fails to mention is that the resulting texture is unavoidably biological, and not in a fun way.


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I'm learning that the Green & Black's line of chocolate is pretty much unassailable in every way.  Their chocolates are made with organic ingredients, ethically sourced using fair trade to prevent human suffering and slavery, many of their bars are vegan-friendly, and best of all they are delicious.  

Green & Black's is one of the few fair trade chocolates which is available in America.  (Although several mass market chocolate manufacturers like Cadbury and Mars have gone fair trade in the UK, the American versions of their bars are not fair trade.)  They deserve your money for that reason alone, since the atrocities committed in the name of non-fair trade cocoa beans are truly horrific.


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When it comes to everyone’s favorite part of every holiday, food usually tops the list. July 4 is like any other holiday in terms of people coming together, celebrating their country’s birth, and cooking up some delicious flavors. Any Fourth of July celebration dinner would be incomplete, however, without some delicious desserts. Here are some simple yet delicious treats you might want to whip up this weekend.

Red, White, and Blue Trail Mix: Dip some pretzels in white chocolate and serve with raspberries and blueberries for a sweet, juicy treat everyone can enjoy with their hands.

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